Graham Leaver
05 Sept 1958 - 31 March 2017
By Scott Leaver
On the eve of my wedding in Italy, nearly two decades ago, we visited a lake called Mergozzo with some family and friends. It has a lovely picnic area and some seriously inviting water. By Italian standards this lake is a quite small, but it's still nearly a mile across and well over 100ft deep.
Graham and I were the first ones in the water and before we knew it we were half way across the lake. It seems like a missed opportunity not to make it to the other side. So we turned it into an epic swim.
I've no idea how long it took, but we were in trouble when we got back.
The day after my wedding, Graham did one better and created another memory for my Italian in-laws. We took a trip to Alpe Devero, a fantastic spot with soaring peeks all round. A few of us trekked up to Lake Devero and there Graham did a classic “Leaver” thing. He stripped down to his boxer-shorts and plunged into the icy alpine water. Everyone looked on in amazement. It’s not the sort of thing an Italian would do and it’s still something they laugh about today. I didn't join him this time because I was on a yellow card.
My brother never did things by half. His exploits included many swims, sky dives, martial arts, abseiling, cross-country skiing and latterly his new passion for cycling, where he thought nothing of an 80 mile bike ride.
I’m sure that each one of us knows a different Graham.
For me you were a kindred spirit, rising to every challenge and fun to be with.
For my parents, you were the golden boy. The first, their beautiful blond haired blue eyed angel.
For your sons Sam and Max, you were dad. The long distances must have been tough, but I know that he loved it when you got together.
For our cousins, you were simply “our lovely cuz”. Growing up together and sharing so many happy summers holidays and wonderful Christmas dinners.
For Martha and Dani, you were a gentle and caring husband and father. You worked so hard to make them happy and keep them secure.
For your friends you were funny, cheeky, caring, generous and loyal. It’s fair to say that you have left a huge mark on every one you met and that you will be sorely missed.
Colin gave us a box containing a proud collection of achievements.
A couple of early swimming certificates for 25 and 100 yards. Mum reckons you could have been a champion.
A few exam results with glimpses of your maths and design skills that didn't quite reveal how good you were. Then an impressive bunch of professional qualifications.
Dani found one of his work manuals and commented that it looked the kind of stuff you study at Uni and you know you’ll never need to use in the real world. Clever stuff.
Loving a challenge, Graham wanted to prove how clever he really was, so he took a Mensa test. His amazing score, put him in the top 1% in the country. That's not clever, that's genius!
In the mid-70s, with long blond locks, wearing flared trousers and platform shoes, he joined Litholite as an apprentice design engineer where he met some life-long friends. Joe Boscherini and Joe Cummings amongst others. He worked there for 10 years.
It was the beginning of a great journey.
Soon after starting work, he left home for the first time. I don't remember much about that, but his friends could tell us some stories.
He was a passionate Arsenal fan and follow the Gunners everywhere. Once, getting into a spot of bother with the police for singing rude songs on a station platform, so I’m told. I remember the tears when they lost an FA cup final and the joy when they won trophies.
1982 was a bad year, when we lost our brother Andy. Graham eventually came back home and a new era began. We became good friends, spending the next few years in each-others pockets, pubbing and clubbing with a great group of English and foreign friends.
Graham loved the Spanish girls most of all.
However it was, Julie, who first stole his heart and together they had Sam and Max. Things were good for a while, but didn’t last. Soon Graham was back on the scene.
It was about this time when Graham met Cari and discovered his faith, which became an important part of his life.
It would be fair to say that this was a challenging period of Graham’s life, with work, money issues, but his faith kept him going.
Following brief business partnership with a now life-long friend, Andy Palmer, they decided to move to Spain, where he perfected the language and worked remotely for some UK companies. He joined a Spanish church and enjoyed Spanish life.
My brother loved cooking and claimed that his paella was incomparable, but I always challenged him on that. My daughters can vouch for the fact that he cooked the best fajitas though. Matilde might tell you more.
Graham became single again, and Martha soon caught his eye, and he worked hard to gain her affections.
Graham called me and said “I think I have found the love of my life". A beautiful young Colombian girl with a lovely young son. They turned out to be the perfect match and got married in 2007.
Finding it tricky to get the right sort of work in Spain, he knew he need to come back to England. That was 2009. Living with us in London for the first year.
Ashford and Thermo Fischer Scientific was his next stop, where he spent 4 happy years, where he made some great friends and was happily reunited by Martha and Dani for a while.
Then, three years ago Graham moved to Bournemouth and Jarden.
Jarden offered Graham so much. You are fantastic people and were like a family. I can’t thank you enough for the support that you gave Graham and how much you have helped us. I know what Graham meant to everyone there and that they will feel this loss as much as any of us. He loved working with you and enjoyed all the fun things you do. He loved the epic team bike rides and especially the office banter.
He was finally reunited with Martha and Dani last September. Dani started Sixth Form College and integrated in no time.
Graham loved it here in Dorset, with the New Forest and the wonderful coastline on his doorstep, with a great job and finally reunited with his family He made lots of new friends and kept in contact with many old ones.
Graham and I were also meeting up more often and I joined him on some of his bike rides. With my mum and Roger now back in the UK we were also lucky enough to get together as a family again. We always laughed a lot.
I see this recent period of Graham’s life as the best. I had never seen him so happy and take great comfort in that.
I will remember Graham as a fun-loving kindred spirit, who loved to take part and with whom I spent some of the best moments of my life.
You were a good man, a loved brother and we will all miss you terribly.
Goodbye for now, Graham.